Another important thing you should learn by going this how to live happier life road is to accept the amazing individual that you are. Self-worth and self – love is the most attractive things in a person.
While I am editing this post, outside is cold and snowy winter day, I am all crawled up in a bed with a blanket, besides a warm cup of green tea, cat near my feet and candle spreading this warm and cozy feeling around the room. OK…not really. Everything is true except that I’m in a bed, I’m sitting at my desk. (Even the cat is still near – in my lap) I just find that more inspirational, otherwise I would start to watch a movie or read something about yoga or nutrition…as usual and wouldn’t get this done.
After this speech of cosines, I will share with you some tips, which can help you to live in harmony with yourself and the world you are into.
Forgive yourself for past mistakes
A good starting point is to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. It is OK that you didn’t do the right thing or you failed, or you let someone down. That was the past. This moment…the exact moment where you are now is important. Past is gone and future is far ahead, they are not reachable, this moment is. Use it.
Learn to live here and now
A wonderful feeling when it’s attained. I have to say, this is one of the hardest ones for me. When I was under 18, I always used to think about the past, when I got over 18, I started always to think about the future and rarely I enjoyed the moment I was. Now I am learning. And every now and then I get to it. For me, the answer is yoga, meditation, and nature.
Without this, you won’t be able fully to accept yourself because you will always think – oh, then I was prettier. Or – after I will lose those 5 kg/ learn French/ go cliff diving, or whatever else – then I will love myself and care for myself. No. You won’t because then there will be another thought how to improve yourself for desperate attempts to fall in love with yourself. You are like you are and you are amazing. Accept it.
Allow yourself to be who you are
The only way how you will be able to be truly happy is to accept who you are – with all the positive and negative there is to it. Forgive yourself, love yourself, and respect yourself. You are able to cherish yourself on your own. Don’t seek approval from others, listen to yourself and be as you are. The world is so beautiful because of all the differences there is in it, it includes also people. So let yourself to be a piece of art. This is one of the best things you can work on, because the satisfaction which you’ll get after achieving this, will make you speechless. I promise.
Accept that you are enough
Since you were a kid, parents, school teachers, coach and other people who were involved in your life, told you and pushed you to do more, to be better. When you were good, you had to be even better. Never-ending story. You grew up but now there is even more pressure. We are living in a century of big opportunities but as well as enormous competition, it is almost imprinted in your brains to think that you are not good enough no matter what you do. The truth is that you are enough. There is no perfection. I am all for self-development, otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to read this blog, but you have to let go the urge to be perfect in everything you do and just try to do the best you can.
Be good and kind to yourself
We tend to be kind, loving, understanding, forgiving towards others but a lot of us, quite often, forget that we – ourselves are the most precious beings alive. It is great if you are good towards others but always remember to be good towards yourself in the first place.
Appreciate what you have
The grass is NOT always greener, learn to appreciate what you have because there will be always something that you could upgrade. Gratitude is one of the warmest feelings you can get. Remember that there are a lot of people who have less than you do, as well as there are people who have more, but it doesn’t matter because you are here and now and you have what you have. Appreciate it and make the best out of it.
Listen to your inner self
Listen to your intuition/heart/ inner – voice, call it as you wish. This one is rough on me too. I always had a good intuition. I guess it is a heritage in my family from women side. The problem was that I never listen to it. I always did what seemed to be right in the long run, but inside I always felt unhappy in the long run. So now I am listening. At least I am trying. And I can tell you – I feel much better.
Have a positive mindset
This is a big one. I wrote about how to think positive in my previous post, though I had this feeling to express myself even more in this section because I am coming from a country where the general population is not exactly the most positive people on the earth.
It is important to understand that negative thinking gives the negative outcome.
When all day long your mind is stuck in this terrifying tornado with millions of thoughts like – I am not good enough, I am too fat or too skinny, my husband doesn’t love me anymore, I can’t finish this project till the deadline, why did my car broke down when I’m already late, everything is such a mess!
In this way you create a never-ending path, that leads you to a life which you dislike, that creates another negative emotion and you are stuck in this dark bubble, which is close to exploding. Imagine that you take a bowl filled with water and you add some soap to it, afterward you put some few drops of black ink in it. You blow a large bubble, you keep on blowing it till it gets bigger and bigger and then in some point it burst and leaving black marks all over. (Sometimes I was wondering why bubbles tend to burst by themselves, so I looked up for some information – Since bubbles are made up of soap and water, they’ll only last as long as the water does. In other words, when you break the surface tension, you burst the bubble! In dry air, the water evaporates quickly, meaning that the dry air will soak up the water inside the bubble and the skin will gradually grow thinner and thinner and eventually pop! There are other factors that can also cause a bubble to burst. Anything dry will pop it immediately! A blade of grass, our hands, pet fur… anything will do it. )
As you can see, the thing that makes bubbles to burst is other itself, because of lack of water or due to external circumstances. The same applies to human beings. You accumulate all these negative thoughts that at some point you can’t take it anymore. It affects all your surroundings, loved ones and things that you do in life. It doesn’t matter if your explosion was created by your inner self or circumstances.
What matters is to do something about it. The best is not to reach that level but act before.
Do what you love
When you will start to listen to yourself, you will see what you are craving for. Find your niche and spend as much time as you can by doing things you like. This will make you feel a lot better, satisfied, worthy and happy.
Listen and watch motivational authors speaking about self-worth
Every now and then, even if you try your best, you will find days when you will feel down and your self-speech won’t help you too much. In those days a good way how to again lift yourself up is listening to motivational podcasts. We are used to hearing more good from others than from ourselves, so this method instantly will help you to see your positive side and get back where you left.
Our thoughts are a powerful tool, use it in the right way. Start every day and end it with an affirmation. Choose different one every day, repeat them several times. You will see the magic. After some time you will have your favorite ones and you won’t be able to go a day without them.
If you have to compare to someone, compare to yourself
This is your life, it doesn’t matter what others do in their lives. You are the only one who needs to live with yourself from the first day till the last one. Make sure that you do your best. Be proud of yourself, for yourself. Be the best version of you. Never stop your self-development. Keep on “growing”.
I have to warn you that this is not a one-time thing to do. These tips helped and still are helping me to get in the mindset of myself where I want to be. It takes time and dedication but it is so worth it. It is impossible to have a great relationship with others if you don’t have them with yourself in the first place. Try it for a month and you’ll see how you feel. Probably you will want to keep on going.
How do you express love towards yourself?