Category: Mind

How to stay committed​?

If you want to see your dreams becoming a reality, you have to work for it and you have to redirect yourself to your goal. There will be ups and downs, different circumstances, difficulties. As well, exact opposite – good and fun ideas, struggle to go and have fun with friends/family, overcome temptations or just simple human desire to lay back doing nothing. You will be forced to avoid these urges, at times, to get your things done. It’s about priorities and sacrifices. Another thing you need to acknowledge – probably it will take some time, so you need to keep in mind your goal and purpose why you’re doing all of it. You have to stay persevere and committed, no matter what.

I like to read books and other blogs, which has a great, complete and meaty content about subjects that is my passion. Long, philosophical texts make my brain work and my soul thrill, however, sometimes I like straight, short, structured content, in that way I am able to get straight to the point and take what I need for that moment. This blog post will be more likely short with an emphasis on the main solution.

“Productivity is never an accident.

It is always result of a commitment to excellence,

intelligent planning and focused effort.”

-Paul J. Meyer

Some tips how to do it:

Write down your goal in some place, where you can see it on a daily basis – it will be a good reminder why you are doing all this in the first place. (You should always write down your goals, detailed plan and deadlines for them. Afterward, keep track on them and mark down that as well)

Set straight your priorities – unfortunately, we can’t do everything. You will have to handle sacrifice and some unpleasant feelings due to that. Establish the order of the most important things you have to do, don’t make any excuses and go for it, no matter what. You added them to your priority list, so keep your word to the most important person in this world – you. Without setting right priorities you will not be able to go too far.

Keep in mind that it won’t happen overnight – you have to be able to keep going for a long period of time, even in case of lack of clear and satisfying results or even failure. (Failure shouldn’t stop you, it should actually do the exact opposite – motivate you more because it gives the possibility to learn and try harder to do and be better)

You have to have persistence – this will keep you going no matter what circumstances will come along the way.

Meet people or find someone with whom you are “on the same page” –  in moments when you will want to give up or feel down, this person can motivate you and help you to get back up more easily.

Find a mentor – this relates a bit to the previous suggestion, bit more in a professional way although. It is always a good idea if there is someone who can help you with things for which you do not have the knowledge and experience, not by doing them instead of you, but by showing the right direction. This can save you time and a piece of your nerves.

The last but not least – stay flexible. By being committed don’t forget to keep open mindset, a good opportunity can appear in your way, keep your goal in mind, keep on doing your things and fit in a new approach, which can help you to achieve what you want even in more satisfactory ways.

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How to follow your passion?

I have my both hands and legs up for an idea to let your inner self follow a higher passion. If you learn how to listen to yourself, you will start living with a totally different approach. Why I think it is important to follow your passion career-wise? For two main reasons.

We spend most of our time working. It could be absolutely depressing and disappointing to waste our life by doing things what we dislike or even hate.

Second reason – if you really want to put in full of your potential, energy, willpower and succeed while doing that, you have to love what you do. There will be circumstances and people who will try to stop you. If you won’t love what you do, if you won’t be passionate about it, at some point you will give up. Our brain works like that, we are not meant to struggle. Our brain wants to save us, it’s not for doing what’s hard, what’s a must. We have to make that decision and stick to it. Simply, if you really won’t love what you do, you will give up, because you won’t see the purpose and your brain will demand you to stop.

Some tips, which can help you to get to your starting point:

Be realistic – I am all for supporting crazy, interesting and adventures ideas, but they have to have a good plan, you have to have some understanding how to realize them.

Take a bit time, don’t jump right in  – sometimes it can be quite overwhelming when you had enough and you want to make dramatic life changes.

Think again – overthink everything once again. Not too much, though. Otherwise, you will start to have doubts and you will back down.

Find out what your good at, not only what you desperately like – write down all things where you are good at. If you’re struggling, ask your family and friends, they can help because they know you quite well, plus, they know the perspective from outside.

Try it out before you commit yourself to it – OK, you know your dream. That’s fantastic! It truly is, there’s just a tiny question. Are you good at what you so desperately like? For example, you would like to be a fashion photographer because you like fashion and every now and then you took quite good photos of nature, some portraits here and there or some funny poses of your neighbors cat, but even if you have taken some photos during years, you have no idea how that would actually go together.

If you have a vision, you’re halfway there  If not, you should try out your skills by assisting someone in your desired profession. Look what they are doing, pay attention, learn, ask advice.

Find your mentor –  Ask for his help and advice, in your free moments take that knowledge and put it down into practice.

Don’t quit the job which feeds you – quitting your job to follow your passion probably is the stupidest advice person could get. Unless you have quite big savings or someone is financially supporting you. Don’t quit your job. You still will need to pay your bills and eat, plus, you may even have extra expenses to build up and support your passion.  You will have to combine your daily work and passion. It won’t be easy but you must keep in mind why you are doing this and that like this won’t be forever.

Make a plan – put down how will you achieve your goals. Add as many details as possible. Set also deadlines for small goals.

Think about ups and downs that probably will come across – they will come, no doubts. This can help you to focus when something goes wrong and will help you to stay on the ground when first success hits in.

Visualize your new life and ask yourself if that is what you really want – Yeeeey! Time for the fun part. Close your eyes and go into daydreaming. Visualize how your life would look like when you would achieve your goals – when you would live a life that you are so passionate about. Imagine also all small details. Afterward, ask yourself this question – is this really how I would like to spend my life?

Start acting – just start to do those things which you wrote in your plan.

Stay committed – there will be tough times, you will feel angry, sad, lonely. You will feel like you want to give up. But you won’t. Why? Because if that is what you really want, you will do whatever it takes, no matter what.

What is your passion? What do you do to make your dreams a reality? 

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Neurotic extravert

I was reading a book about positive psychology (It has been written by Latvian Psy.D/ dean/ writer, the name can be useful for those who understand Latvian. “Pozitīvā psiholoģija” – Guna Svence. There are a lot of books for English speaking people as well), some refreshment from basic psychology where the focus is more on treating mental illnesses than satisfaction in life. I prefer this sub-sector, it gives useful content, positive emotions, and can help to understand yourself and others better by using a positive approach. There is a section that catches my eye and it isn’t 100% positive, but useful. It describes neurotic/ stable people which are as well extroverts or introverts. So I started to search for more information about this subject.  As it seems like, I would describe myself as a neurotic extrovert, that’s the reason for this post. In the first part, there is an explanation, in the second part – how to deal with it and the positive impact of it. As we know, I am not the only one in this world so it can be interesting and useful for you as well, my dear reader.

*Neuroticism

“Neuroticism is one of the big five higher-order personality traits in the study of psychology characterized by anxiety, fear, moodiness, worry, envy, frustration, jealousy, and loneliness.

They are often self-conscious and shy, and they may have trouble controlling urges and delaying gratification.

High neuroticism indexes a risk constellation that exists prior to the development and onset of any of the “common mental disorders”, such as depression, phobia, panic disorder, other anxiety disorders, and substance use disorder—symptoms that traditionally have been called neuroses.

Galen of Pergamum popularized the idea that mixes of four bodily fluids or humors resulted in four personality types or temperaments. The Melancholic personality type, which can be seen as the conceptual predecessor of Neuroticism, was characterized by being mentally unbalanced, fearful, anxious, or sad, and according to Hippocrates due to too much black bile.

Neuroticism means levels change throughout the lifespan as a function of personality maturation and social roles but also the expression of new genes. Generally speaking, the influence of environments on neuroticism increases over the lifespan, although people probably select and evoke experiences based on their neuroticism levels. It has been shown that people change in neuroticism after positive or negative life experiences.

Disorders associated with elevated neuroticism include mood disorders, such as depression and bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, schizophrenia, and schizoaffective disorder, dissociative identity disorder, and hypochondriasis. Mood disorders tend to have a much larger association with neuroticism than most other disorders.”

**Neuroticism. Stable.

“Neurotics / unstable tend to be anxious, worrying and moody. They are overly emotional and find it difficult to calm down once upset.”

“Stables are emotionally calm, unreactive and unworried.”

**Extraversion and introversion

“Extraverts are sociable and crave excitement and change, and thus can become bored easily. They tend to be carefree, optimistic and impulsive.”

“Introverts are reserved, plan their actions and control their emotions. They tend to be serious, reliable and pessimistic.”

Yaay, that was a positive description, right? NOT. Hahaha. Some of that I really use to have. And every now and then, still pops something up. This is just a brief look at this subject. It is not a stamp on your forehead or excuse for yourself. Everyone has different personality traits and in the end it mixes all up like a nice four-season vegan salad. Even though genes have a big impact, with willpower, perseverance, and patience, you can change some things here and there.

How do I deal with it?

My life is has been a roller coaster. As fun as it may be in times, it can be also stressful and exhausting.

I work – on myself, by myself, for myself.

I work A LOT. Nothing comes for free, right? Not even my own personality. Well…life isn’t fair and it can be harsh at times as we know. Although, I don’t mind working on it. I have this little creature in my head, which is constantly curious and it has this tremendous urge to find a variety of ways, get to know a lot of new and see unseen.

Except for working with my mind, attitude, and perception of life I also have some practical things which help me and I enjoy doing them. Like – to be active (walks, hiking, yoga), meditation, meet new people, do my job and travel. Oh, I love to travel!

As well, I read some books, for example, you can purchase Neurotic Styles

And if I need to be honest, I like to be a little neurotic. Because I tend to worry, I like to check things out, do research, try and experience new things in life. Like that, I take off these worries of not knowing. Before some stressful situations I tend to think about worst scenarios which could happen, so when I’m in a situation, it never goes as bad as my imagination told me and I am thrilled about the solution. As well as I feel grateful. (This habit is a bit gone, now I tend to think positive even in stressful or scary situations) Because I tend to worry about myself and others, I do my best to make sure everything is OK. Because I tend to overthink when I’m being lazy, I start to worry or get a bit depressed, I tend to find things to do. I like to be on a move. I can express myself quite clear if needed. After no care whatsoever about my health, and having some true bad sh*t during years, after which I started to get worried even if something little goes wrong with my health, I get checkups quite often. Now I’m used to caring more and I am healthy and happy. Even though I can be spontaneous and crazy at times, I always think before acting – if something would go wrong, will I regret it? If the answer is no, I will do whatever nut-case it is at the time. One thing I always do in my life – I don’t regret. Even if I have done some stupid, crazy things during years, they made me who I am and it’s fine with me. OK, I’m a human being, so there is one thing that I could think of, but even that one I see as a good life lesson. And because every now and then I tend to get moody, anxious, sad, afraid, I work on myself twice as much to feel satisfied and happy. And the last but not least, I am a bit neurotic – crazy chick, but, hey, life is too short to be absolutely normal. It would be f*** boring! So, I like the way it is.

What are your personality traits of individuality? Do you approve? If not, what are your tips to smooth them out?

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*information obtained from wikipedia.org

**information obtained from simplypsychology.org

NOTE: I don’t have a degree in psychology, so everything (except quotes) in this content is based on my personal experience. With serious psychological disorders, please, seek professional help.

How to stay present?

[Text: By author]

 

Next step in our journey to happier life is to learn to be in here and now. This one is major for achieving your inner peace, harmony, and happiness. Yes, it is quite vital. Everyone is saying – enjoy this moment, live like this is your last day etc., but I won’t throw sparkling poetry around and I will be honest with you. To achieve this state, it is annoying at times and for most of us, it takes hard work. No doubts. Don’t let these words bring you down, it is possible and you will actually have a lot of fun and pleasure „watching yourself” while you will make your progress. When I look back at myself and think what kind of response I had in different kind of situations – so much aggression, anger, revenge, impatience. It makes me happy because, in time,  I taught myself to change my attitude. I was a total disaster and a mess. (Every now and then I still am, that’s why self – development is so important. It should be never-ending. There is always more to learn about yourself) Now when I look back, I look at it like a hilarious comedy show. Although, at that time I didn’t find it too funny. I am glad that I made some progress and I am looking forward to achieving more and more. No boundaries.

And one of the things which I am improving is being at the present moment. I wish for all of you to develop it.

Here are some tips which can help you to achieve here and now feeling:

  • Breathing exercises – This one truly works. One example: “Stop whatever you are doing, if possible, find some quiet place and focus on your breath. Slow, deep breaths. Inhale while counting till four and exhale again counting till four, through your nostrils. Relax the muscles in your face, jaw, and tongue. Keep relaxed shoulders and stomach. Do it for 1-2 minutes. Go back to your normal breathing. Release your mind, but don’t try too hard. You don’t need to force yourself to clear your mind, you just need to observe things that are around you. Length of your breath, smell, noises etc. Do it for 3 – 5 minutes.”
  • Yoga and meditation – conscious breathing, mental liberation, body loosening. While doing yoga and meditation you are focusing on your breath and movements as well as your senses.
  • Stay aware and focus on things you are doing – people can’t do several tasks at the same time. Well, we can, but it happens automatic and we are not paying full attention to none of them. Be aware of what you are doing. Now you are reading this post, then don’t think how it will end or what you will do after. Just read and focus on things you are reading. That’s it. Do one thing at the time and pay your full attention to it.
  • Be aware of your senses – feel. Smell, sound, taste, touch, sight, hearing. Pay attention to all of your senses. For example, when you are eating – slow down, look at your meal, feel the smell, texture of it, the sound what food makes when you are chewing it. Appreciate and enjoy your meal.
  • Do what you love – not much to explain here. It will make you happy. Spend more of your time by doing things you like to do. Find time for that. Set your priorities. Find the ways how you can do more of things you love in your daily routine. It takes away time. You don’t feel it anymore and you are focused on things you are doing.
  • Accept yourself – When you approve yourself, you can enjoy this moment, because you are satisfied with whom you are here and now.
  • While you have a conversation with someone, be present – this is a bit repetitive with the second tip I gave you, but I think it is so important because nowadays we are spending a lot of time (and I mean A LOT) virtually connecting to people. A lot of us when we are having a conversation with someone, we are not there. Yes, physically it might seem so, but our mind is having tons of different thoughts, even if we are listening, we are not really hearing what the other person is saying to us. Don’t think about your response, things that you have to do later or what you did before. Just listen to this person that you are talking to, if you are there and you gave your time to this person, then be there. All of you. All your attention. Listen and hear. There are not too many people who are really listening.
  • Be close to nature – I am more of a city girl. Although, when I was a kid, quite often I stayed close to nature, so every now and then I have this urge to disappear for a shorter or longer period of time and recharge myself in some peaceful place. Long walks through pine tree forest or along the seashore usually help.
  • Be in a peaceful environment – for me other works warm and cozy room with fireplace and/or candles and peaceful music as a background (no I am not a romantic person, but these things help me to slow down the hurricane in my head) or funny movie. Another one is water. Swimming pool, bath, clear and natural water. Other swimming or playing around, or just watching. I really enjoy those moments and in my mind, I am able to be there and nowhere else.
  • Be determined – it takes time. This is not one of those things which you can change overnight. Have some reminders. Remember your goal. Visualize how you would be when you would achieve this. If that doesn’t work. Hey, just push yourself. Harder. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do if you want to see results.

I love to achieve the feeling of being here and now.  I feel peaceful, happy and thankful. There is no time, it is all mine and it feels like it will last forever. Those moments are the moments which gives me the strength, even if I’m in a situation where I don’t want to be. I start to appreciate more what I have. It gives me the power to do things and to change something with what I have and that is deeply satisfying.

What do you do to stay present?

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How to accept yourself and stop comparing​ yourself to others?

Another important thing you should learn by going this how to live happier life road is to accept the amazing individual that you are. Self-worth and self – love is the most attractive things in a person.

While I am editing this post, outside is cold and snowy winter day, I am all crawled up in a bed with a blanket, besides a warm cup of green tea, cat near my feet and candle spreading this warm and cozy feeling around the room. OK…not really. Everything is true except that I’m in a bed, I’m sitting at my desk. (Even the cat is still near – in my lap) I just find that more inspirational, otherwise I would start to watch a movie or read something about yoga or nutrition…as usual and wouldn’t get this done.

After this speech of cosines, I will share with you some tips, which can help you to live in harmony with yourself and the world you are into.

Forgive yourself for past mistakes

A good starting point is to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. It is OK that you didn’t do the right thing or you failed, or you let someone down. That was the past. This moment…the exact moment where you are now is important. Past is gone and future is far ahead, they are not reachable, this moment is. Use it.

Learn to live here and now

A wonderful feeling when it’s attained. I have to say, this is one of the hardest ones for me. When I was under 18, I always used to think about the past, when I got over 18, I started always to think about the future and rarely I enjoyed the moment I was. Now I am learning. And every now and then I get to it. For me, the answer is yoga, meditation, and nature.

Without this, you won’t be able fully to accept yourself because you will always think – oh, then I was prettier. Or – after I will lose those 5 kg/ learn French/ go cliff diving, or whatever else – then I will love myself and care for myself. No. You won’t because then there will be another thought how to improve yourself for desperate attempts to fall in love with yourself. You are like you are and you are amazing. Accept it.

Allow yourself to be who you are

The only way how you will be able to be truly happy is to accept who you are – with all the positive and negative there is to it. Forgive yourself, love yourself, and respect yourself. You are able to cherish yourself on your own. Don’t seek approval from others, listen to yourself and be as you are. The world is so beautiful because of all the differences there is in it, it includes also people. So let yourself to be a piece of art. This is one of the best things you can work on, because the satisfaction which you’ll get after achieving this, will make you speechless. I promise.

Accept that you are enough

Since you were a kid, parents, school teachers, coach and other people who were involved in your life, told you and pushed you to do more, to be better. When you were good, you had to be even better. Never-ending story. You grew up but now there is even more pressure. We are living in a century of big opportunities but as well as enormous competition, it is almost imprinted in your brains to think that you are not good enough no matter what you do. The truth is that you are enough. There is no perfection. I am all for self-development, otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to read this blog, but you have to let go the urge to be perfect in everything you do and just try to do the best you can.

Be good and kind to yourself

We tend to be kind, loving, understanding, forgiving towards others but a lot of us, quite often, forget that we – ourselves are the most precious beings alive. It is great if you are good towards others but always remember to be good towards yourself in the first place.

Appreciate what you have

The grass is NOT always greener, learn to appreciate what you have because there will be always something that you could upgrade. Gratitude is one of the warmest feelings you can get. Remember that there are a lot of people who have less than you do, as well as there are people who have more, but it doesn’t matter because you are here and now and you have what you have. Appreciate it and make the best out of it.

Listen to your inner self

Listen to your intuition/heart/ inner – voice, call it as you wish. This one is rough on me too. I always had a good intuition. I guess it is a heritage in my family from women side. The problem was that I never listen to it. I always did what seemed to be right in the long run, but inside I always felt unhappy in the long run. So now I am listening. At least I am trying. And I can tell you – I feel much better.

Have a positive mindset

This is a big one. I wrote about how to think positive in my previous post, though I had this feeling to express myself even more in this section because I am coming from a country where the general population is not exactly the most positive people on the earth.

It is important to understand that negative thinking gives the negative outcome.

When all day long your mind is stuck in this terrifying tornado with millions of thoughts like – I am not good enough, I am too fat or too skinny, my husband doesn’t love me anymore, I can’t finish this project till the deadline, why did my car broke down when I’m already late, everything is such a mess!

In this way you create a never-ending path, that leads you to a life which you dislike, that creates another negative emotion and you are stuck in this dark bubble, which is close to exploding. Imagine that you take a bowl filled with water and you add some soap to it, afterward you put some few drops of black ink in it. You blow a large bubble, you keep on blowing it till it gets bigger and bigger and then in some point it burst and leaving black marks all over. (Sometimes I was wondering why bubbles tend to burst by themselves, so I looked up for some information – Since bubbles are made up of soap and water, they’ll only last as long as the water does. In other words, when you break the surface tension, you burst the bubble! In dry air, the water evaporates quickly, meaning that the dry air will soak up the water inside the bubble and the skin will gradually grow thinner and thinner and eventually pop! There are other factors that can also cause a bubble to burst. Anything dry will pop it immediately! A blade of grass, our hands, pet fur… anything will do it. )

As you can see, the thing that makes bubbles to burst is other itself, because of lack of water or due to external circumstances. The same applies to human beings. You accumulate all these negative thoughts that at some point you can’t take it anymore. It affects all your surroundings, loved ones and things that you do in life. It doesn’t matter if your explosion was created by your inner self or circumstances.

What matters is to do something about it. The best is not to reach that level but act before.

Do what you love

When you will start to listen to yourself, you will see what you are craving for. Find your niche and spend as much time as you can by doing things you like. This will make you feel a lot better, satisfied, worthy and happy.

Listen and watch motivational authors speaking about self-worth

Every now and then, even if you try your best, you will find days when you will feel down and your self-speech won’t help you too much. In those days a good way how to again lift yourself up is listening to motivational podcasts. We are used to hearing more good from others than from ourselves, so this method instantly will help you to see your positive side and get back where you left.

Repeat affirmations

Our thoughts are a powerful tool, use it in the right way. Start every day and end it with an affirmation. Choose different one every day, repeat them several times. You will see the magic. After some time you will have your favorite ones and you won’t be able to go a day without them.

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If you have to compare to someone, compare to yourself

This is your life, it doesn’t matter what others do in their lives. You are the only one who needs to live with yourself from the first day till the last one. Make sure that you do your best. Be proud of yourself, for yourself. Be the best version of you. Never stop your self-development. Keep on “growing”.

I have to warn you that this is not a one-time thing to do. These tips helped and still are helping me to get in the mindset of myself where I want to be. It takes time and dedication but it is so worth it. It is impossible to have a great relationship with others if you don’t have them with yourself in the first place. Try it for a month and you’ll see how you feel. Probably you will want to keep on going.

How do you express love towards yourself?

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How to think positive?

In previous posts, I wrote that life is about your mind. It is up to you how you will live your life. It is your decision. You make choices which affect the outcomes.

I believe in positive thinking. I would like to mention these Mahatma Gandhi words:

“Keep your thoughts positive,

because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive,

because your words become your behavior.

Keep your behavior positive,

because your behavior becomes your habits.

Keep your habits positive,

because your habits become your values.

Keep your values positive,

because your values become your destiny.”

It’s important to understand that everything you think, it materializes in real life.

It is up to you to make this decision and start NOW to think in a more positive way. If you have been a slave for years and years of your negative mind like I was, then you will see that it is not easy to change it, but it’s not impossible. I know that you can do that. Start to notice your thoughts, watch them, analyze them, and turn your negative thoughts to positive.

There are no limits and boundaries, everything is possible. There are no doubts, you will find your way. There is no judgment, you do what you love. There is no jealousy, you know who you are and you love the way you are.

The first thing to do, if you want some major life improvements, is to change your attitude about everything that is happening around you. If something is not the way you want it to be, you need to think how you can make it happen the way you want. Complaining, being angry, crying or having any other unproductive emotions will just take your precious time and won’t solve anything.

A better way is to accept the situation you’re in, think about solutions and act on it.

The day when you will get up and say to yourself: ” F*ck this! I’m done to be this negative person. This is my life and I am the one who can make major changes.” will be the day when you will be able to make progress.

You don’t have to be the slave of your own mind. You may think that it is the way you are, it is not true. You let your ego overcome your inner-self. You let your mind destroy all the possibilities that can help you achieve what you want.

Change your negative mindset to a positive one.

Surround yourself with positive and inspiring people

Read uplifting books as well as positive quotes, watch motivational movies and videos 

Start every day with mantra you want to follow that day.

Get into and maintain a healthy lifestyle – healthy eating and exercises.

Try something new – go to yoga class, change your eating habits, go hiking, learn a new skill or whatever else.

It is not only about keeping your body fit, it is also for the healthy mind.

Do what you love doing.

Talk to people who inspire you. Other you know them or you don’t. Strike a conversation with a person whom you see for first, and possibilities are, also for the last time. In this way, you can hear new, interesting stories which open up your mind for a different view.

Don’t lock yourself in your own imaginary cloud. Go out, meet people, try new things, see beautiful places, be active and be creative. Smile. Be positive.

It is all up to you.

Live your own life. If you are not living your life than who is living yours? Maybe that’s the reason why you don’t have the joy when you are waking up in mornings.

What are yours “to do things” to stay positive?

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How to get rid of fear and learn that failure can help you?

Fear and anxiety – one of human beings biggest enemies. Fear stops your self-growth, it gets you stuck. With a little bit of patience and practice, you can control your fear instead of letting it control you. That will make you stronger and more confident. You will be ready to take over your own life.

You can come across with different types of fear.

  • Fear of rejection

  • Fear of failure

  • Fear of successes

  • Fear of changes

  • Fear of repeating the past

  • Fear of worst case scenarios

  • Fear of losing control

  • Fear of spiders, flying, speed, heights etc.

First of all, you need to calm down your mind and body. I find very effective meditation and breathing exercises. Stop whatever you are doing, if possible, find some quiet place and focus on your breath. Slow, deep breaths. Inhale while counting till four and exhale again counting till four,  through your nostrils. Relax the muscles in your face, jaw, and tongue. Keep relaxed shoulders and stomach. Do it for 1-2 minutes. Go back to your normal breathing. Release your mind, but don’t try too hard. You don’t need to force yourself to clear your mind, you just need to observe things that are around you. Length of your breath, smell, noises etc. Do it for 3 – 5 minutes. I promise that after this you will feel calmer.

You can find different kinds of breathing exercises. For example, you can check out these 6 Breathing Exercises to Relax in 10 Minutes or Less from greatist.com

The best way to overcome fears is to deal with them. Get out of your comfort zone and every day try to do something you are afraid of. Start with baby steps, forcing yourself too much, will just harm you more. I am afraid of heights since I was a kid. During the years I have faced this fear several times. This summer I am planning to jump out with a parachute. Will I be scared? Damn right, I will, but I am not letting my fear to take over and stop me from doing things, which in perspective would give me so much.

Keep in mind, that 99% of times, it is not as worse as we imagined. Think positive. Let positivism take over. Read motivational books, watch uplifting videos and movies. Create affirmations and mantras and repeat them as much as you can. Be around inspiring people.

Prepare yourself. Set clear goals, write down your plans with a detailed description. Even better if you write down also backup-plan for each of your goal.

Take actions. Your mind will feel more relaxed if you will go after what you want.

At this time I dedicated myself to describe one of the fears – failure.

What is a failure?

“Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success.”

I would describe failure as a great experience to achieve our goals, and be the version of ourselves that we so desperately want to be.

  • Failure is absolutely necessary for your self-growth.

  • You shouldn’t expect to fail. When it comes, you need to accept it, learn from it and go forward.

  • It helps you to get out of your comfort zone and try out new things in your life.

  • It makes you stronger, makes you believe in yourself more than you did before.

  • Failure shows you if the goal you are after is what you really crave for.

  • It shows what kind of personality you have. Other you take it personally and you give up or you see it as an experience and great opportunity to try harder to achieve your goals.

Failure is fertilizer for repetition. One more thing about failure is that it pushes you to do things again and again and again. Skills are made of constant repetition. To develop your skills, you need to practice as much as possible.

Most people, which now are successful, went through failure. Without that, they wouldn’t be where they are now.

Due to the above, I would like to mention a book I recently read about well-known people and their success stories. A quotation from the book summary, “Throughout the publication, Gladwell repeatedly mentions the “10,000-Hour Rule”, claiming that the key to achieving world-class expertise in any skill, is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing the correct way, for a total of around 10,000 hours.”

It’s called Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.

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It helped me to see, not only passion and talent are important for an integral part of the success, as much it is necessary to develop your skills. A magic word – practice. Even most geniuses, before they succeeded, have failed.

It is a bit of everything – you, your talent, hard work and regularities.

Things you should do that disadvantage of failure becomes advantage:

  • Stop being afraid of failure

  • Notice it

  • Accept it

  • Analyze it

  • Learn from it

  • Keep on going

  • Never give up

A good example is driving a car. I don’t know any person, who first time at the wheel, at once, figure it all out. People make mistakes, car stops at the wrong moment, wrong turns, wrong speed and most of the drivers have had also a car crash. It didn’t stop them. It takes time and practice. As you can see, there is a lot of people driving around.

I had interesting experience referring to this. Practically speaking, I always have liked my feet on the ground.  I believe that human beings were made with feet for some kind of purpose. That was the way we moved around and it is the way it should be. Most of the times I am afraid to fly, go by boat, swim, dive, go by car or motorbike, as well as with a bicycle or deal with, whatever else, a vehicle is invented in this world. This fear restrains me from things that life can offer to me, so I force myself to overcome that fear and I take opportunities which come by. In that way, I have gained breathtaking experiences and knowledge.

And that magnificent feeling is absolutely worth it!

Now we can get back to the point of driving a car. In the beginning of this year, I had a crazy and fun experience to learn how to drive. I was on vacation in Thailand and my loved one made again one of his amazing surprises. He took me to a place, where I needed to wait for a woman, which came with car keys, introduced me to another person, made me sign some paper and told to drive. Till those words came out from her mouth I wasn’t exactly sure what’s happening and why am I there. I almost had a heart attack, OK, not really but for sure I was scared and frustrated because my ego appeared. For so long I tried to avoid this experience, and there I was, in a country so far away from anything which was familiar to me. Driving teachers could barely say few words in English. There was this, in my point of view, huge Toyota rav4 with manual shift. Even the steering wheel was on the opposite side (like in UK and Australia). As well as small villages with people and wild dogs and other animals, which constantly were on the road and didn’t give a sh*t if a car was coming or not. Highways with busy traffic and a lot of trucks, so I couldn’t drop the speed and I needed to go as fast as they did, plus they have this state of mind –  I am bigger, I have the rights. I overcame the fear, because small voice in my head said that behind the fear, it is what I want, and sooner or later I will need to do it anyway, so why waste the opportunity?

I didn’t get my driving license yet because I haven’t dedicated myself to that. Not yet.  I had an amazing experience in Thailand, I went to several driving lessons and now I know the basics, I am not afraid anymore and actually, I got quite excited about it. Now I have different priorities on my to-do list, but for sure, when I will have the possibility, I will get the license.

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When it comes to failure, it is a huge challenge for our ego. It is in human nature to have denial, seek for excuses, be disappointed, feel embarrassed and feel hopeless.

After you notice and accept it, you need to analyze it, to have the best results in the future. You need to change failing to fail productively.

These steps may help you:

  • Try new things – you can notice a better opportunity to reach your goal

  • Feedback’s – listen to what others have to say about it and take the best out of, in that way you may find your solution.

  • Close down your emotional side – leave space for an analytical way of being till you get back on track.

  • Be open minded – if it didn’t work out in this way, it will work out in another way.

  • You need to be flexible for unexpected changes in your plans – the best way is to adapt

  • Add more details to your plan – figure out how much time you spent planning it, what are the solutions for upcoming problems, etc.

  • Have a backup plan – it will keep you going if something goes wrong

  • Go through your emotions – find out when and why you started to fail. When and why you started to have lack of motivation, effort reduction.

  • Be ready to put even more effort in it – new solutions, more working hours, pushing yourself even harder, getting out from your comfort zone, etc.

Keep in your mind that failure can be a key to success. I hope that some of this information was useful.

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How to live a happier life?

Do you want to know the secret of happy, peaceful, interesting, beautiful and extremely exciting life? OK, I will write it down for you. Now you have to promise that you will read this very carefully – You already know the answer. Deep inside, if you would listen to your inner self, you would hear the little voice that is telling you, “It’s all about you. You are the secret”.

It is about your mind, the way you think. People, who are successful and happy about themselves and everything around them, know that it is not about the result, it is about their attitude. Other people, circumstances, reliance on luck or coincidences won’t affect you anymore if you will have “how to live happier life” mindset.

“Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happy mental states may also reflect judgments by a person about their overall well-being.” 

You can choose what kind of emotions you will feel and display. Most of us think that without affection we can’t feel happy. Yes, it’s true, but not a lot of people decide to create by themselves positive emotions to achieve happiness.

If you feel any kind of negative emotions, do this quick experiment. Go and stand in front of a mirror. Have a close look at your reflection. Notice how you feel.  Now change your expression to big, happy smile. Just smile and look at yourself in a mirror. Stay like that for a minute. How do you feel now?

I am sure that you felt better and happier. When I did this experiment for the first time, it helped me to believe that it is me, who can make a difference. This is a simple proof that we can change our inner emotional state and achieve happiness.

YOU are the only person who is 100% responsible for your life. It is about making a decision and stick to it no matter what. Taking full responsibility.

This is the little gold key, which unlocks the door to success. You need to take action and be responsible for life and circumstances. It means that you need to dominate the situation. You have to accept how things are and commit yourself to make them in the way you want them to be.

As harsh it may seem, you have to stop complaining and whining. No more excuses. Put your sh*t together, take action and make it right!

It is not an easy thing to do, believe me. It takes a lot of courage, toughness, self-confidence, mental strength and lot more. But it is worth it! Don’t worry if at this moment while you are reading this, you think that you can’t do this. Yes, you can. That you don’t have that kind of power. Oh, yes you do!

It takes time and patience, but it is possible.

This is my introduction. In following posts you will be able to read my advice how to change the mindset, afterward being able to live a happier life.

I organized the list below in the following order just for sake of it. Each step is equally important. However, I would start with first 3 steps in exact order. Otherwise, you can get confused or feel stuck at some point.

Steps to change your mindset:

  • Get rid of fear, learn that failure can help you

  • Positive thinking

  • Accept yourself, stop comparing yourself to others

  • Be present

  • Follow your passion

  • Be committed

  • Gratitude

  • Help others

  • Be around positive and inspiring people

  • Eat healthily

  • Exercise daily

  • Never stop your self-growth

I hope, after reading this, you have this feeling like you would be sitting on an invisible needle, which is annoyingly pinching into your buttocks. So you don’t have any other options than stand up and look for a better place to sit. Otherwise, it will be always there pinching your butt.

What is your key to happiness?

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